Confronting Your Past

Today we’re going to be talking about facing off with your feelings about your dark past. One of the hardest things for us to walk through is confronting our past. And I really want to start with who is this episode for? Now, this episode is for you, if maybe you’ve had a sexual past, you feel the shame from it. Or maybe you’ve done things that you’re just not proud of. I think many of us could maybe say that we have a dark past or maybe not. Regardless, I think it’s important that you know a little about my story as well.

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In my new book, Face Off with Your Feelings, I opened up with my story, I lost my virginity at a very young age. I was 12 years old. And I didn’t know at that time, what love was or why I was doing what I was doing.

I did not find Jesus until I was 22. Up until that point, my decisions, my choices, were one of survival and one of how can I feel this need and desire to be seen, known, heard, and loved? See, we don’t know that we need those things when we’re in them. We typically recognize them as we begin to move out of that season and into healing, then we see why we made the choices that we made.

Maybe you don’t have a dark past, maybe you have loved Jesus your entire life. But regardless, I think that there are times in our life where we’ve made decisions and shame will come for us. Confronting our past allows us to be set free from the weight holding us back.

Your past does not define your future.

Therefore, to the girl with the dark past, I want you to remember this, the men or man you slept with before marriage, do not define the value you carry.

The photos you sent to men, or to that man for approval cannot keep you from the love of Christ.

The men or man you lived with, can’t delay what God has for you.

The way you use your body as an instrument for Love does not take away the price Jesus paid for you.

As you confront your past I know that the shame will come for you. And the memories will try to remind you while the enemy tries to convince you that you are beyond repair, and far from lovable.

See, the enemy shouts will get loud trying to keep you distracted, trying to keep you distracted from the father who has his arms stretching out and waiting for you.

No longer do you have to run.

No longer do you have to hide.

And no longer do you have to believe that you are too far gone.

God sent His Son to take your place a place that you could not bear a placement to tear the veil so that you can be reconciled into your father’s arms.

confronting your past

Bring your past to Jesus, bring your pain to Jesus. And remember, it’s your history. But his story.

I think one of the most important things I ever did in my walk with God and healing from my past, is receiving this full revelation of what love is. Because the shame will come. Confronting my past felt hard and heavy. The shame will still come for me at times, my memories will try to remind me, and my past will try to convince me that what I did is beyond reconciliation is beyond redemption. And you know what that keeps me from? It keeps me from experiencing the fullness of God.

And as I mentioned in the series, I want to keep this practical as well, because this topic can be really heavy, right? It can trigger you to think about things or choices that you made. We’re facing off with our feelings. That means we’re not going to settle or just live in what the enemy throws our way. It means that we’re not going to accept what people say about us. We’re not willing to agree with the lies of the enemy. It means that we can be an observer of our thoughts.

That means we can confront our past without conforming to it.

In my book, Face Off with Your Feelings, I walk you through practical things for you to really begin to be an observer of our of your thoughts while confronting your past. Why is this important? Why do we need to face off with our feelings about our dark past? Because it hinders us. It hinders us from receiving love from somebody right in front of us whether it’s a friend or even a potential man that you are going to marry. It blurs the lens of how we see the world.

Becoming an Observer of Our Thoughts About our Past

The first thing I want you to think about when it comes to being an observer of your thought is prayer.

We need to get so comfortable with prayer. So let us pray bold prayers, asking the Father to show us areas of our lives in which we have made an idol. And especially we respond to emotionally, what areas do we respond to emotionally, the most, or the areas that we feel the most intense emotions, he will lead us to the topic, the person or the event, we can trust him.

The second is observation.

As we begin to pray, we want to begin to observe our thoughts, which is really taking them captive. This is about us holding them without owning them. I want you to imagine sitting in front of a TV screen, you have a remote control in your hand. On the screen, your thoughts are popping up and scanning across the screen. You are the observer with the remote, watching the screen and having full permission to change the station. You have been given authority through the power of Jesus to cast down every thought to make it obedient to Christ, observe the thoughts or stories that do not bring restoration, redemption, or healing, and we need to write them down. Confronting your past doesn’t mean you are allowing your past to have control over you.

These are four steps will be more in-depth in my book. (Grab your copy.)

The third thing to observe our thoughts is truth.

The more we observe the more patterns we see with our thoughts. These are the moments we get to take God’s Word to those thoughts. We may have certain feelings, but what does God’s words say about what we feel? What does God’s Word say about our past? Take the thoughts or stories based on lies and search out the truth to them. What stories and Scripture speak life to the areas feeling dead? I want you to write down the truth.

Number four, repetition.

Healing from old lies takes time, you are not going to be able to overcome and face off with your dark past in just one day, or one month or two months. This is going to take repetition and consistency. uprooting old lies and reaction patterns takes repetition, patience, and grace. If you don’t have peace, you’ve lost grace. That means that they go together. This is not about practicing positive thinking, we are transforming the lie and pattern at the root. One important step in renewing our mind comes when we can recognize a reaction pattern and bring truth to real-time situations.

We need to make sure that we take the truths that we know and begin to put them into places we struggle with the most meaning those thoughts.

confronting your past

Maybe it’s on a bathroom mirror, perhaps on the scale, wood putting them in the car or on the refrigerator be best. We need to see the truth continually. Therefore, I want you to think about the places that you get triggered, especially with past lies. Or maybe it’s around certain people that you can put up boundaries with maybe it’s you need to put it on a lock screen on your phone, what truths do you need in front of you over and over again, so that they become the truth that you live out.

When we bring and we choose to bring a memory to the forefront of our minds, we hold a greater ability to renew, to change our minds. When our thoughts are at the forefront of our minds. They are pliable. That means they’re like playdough, where we can mold them and shape them into what they need to be, which of course is God’s word.

When confronting our past, it’s feels hard at first.

And I know that even as you’re healing through this and you’re walking through these practical steps and being reminded that no matter the photos you sent, or the sex that you had, or the age that you lost your virginity, I can guarantee you and promise you that there is redemption for you that there is reconciliation for you that there is healing for you.

Most importantly, that there’s purity for you. Purity of body and heart. You don’t have to keep having sex and you don’t have to throw it all away. Just thinking I already messed up. After confronting your past, you can choose today to remain pure to get pure again, to work through those things. But maybe you’re dating or maybe you’re married, it doesn’t matter the season that you’re in, because your past is with you. No matter who you are with, your memories, your mind, your body is with you, no matter who you’re with. That means that you get to choose to heal today. One of my favorite chapters in my book, Face Off with Your Feelings, is probably chapter 10 about intentional healing.

I take the clinical and the biblical and I’m making it practical for you, for you to face off with your feelings with God while confronting your past.

And be able to pursue the healing. I know that your soul so desperately wants this.

Thank you for hanging out with me today. I would love to hear from you. What is it that you are wrestling through right now with the Lord? Send me a message on Instagram I want to hear from you. Are you confronting your past?

If you’re somebody that also just you almost just want to give up. You feel like you’ve been trying to pursue this healing thing or renewing your mind thing or overcoming the lies by yourself. I would love for you just to pick up my book, you can go to Jessica hottle.com. Get yourself a copy. And most importantly, I want to do this with you.

As always, don’t forget, challenge the way you think to change the way you live.

Thanks for sharing the podcast. Don’t forget to hit follow and leave a rating and review. That’s how people begin to find the podcast is with amazing people like you coming into this community and saying, let’s do this together.

Another episode you would enjoy:

Face Off with Your Feelings with God

Doing What Matters Most versus Getting Things Done

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